Stupid viruses

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A week ago I mentioned stupid comets, those weird invisible celestial objects in outer space that cause brain damage in most humans, resulting in lifelong mental retardation.

Now it seems that there are equally powerful stupid viruses, also invisible and undetectable, although the symptoms are obvious to the trained observer. This malady is contagious and pandemic, and it can involve almost any topic, including Monetary Sovereignty. It prevents people from finding the answers to even the simplest of questions, even when the answers are right in front of their noses. If you try to show people the answer in front of their noses, you are ignored or dismissed. Or deleted.

That’s stupid viruses for you. Let’s see this horror in action. (Viewer discretion advised.)

Question: Why do zebras have stripes?

For many years, stupid viruses have caused scientists to be baffled by this question. Do stripes help zebras blend into the background? Are the stripes caused by the zebras’ diet, like the pink coloration of flamingos? Do the stripes manifest some mysterious force of nature?

It is a conundrum! An unsolvable riddle!

There is now a story circulating on the Internet about a study done by researchers at the University of Calgary and the University of California/Davis. These brilliant scientists have concluded that zebra stripes are not for camouflage. Their Very Important Findings are cited across the Internet, such as here and here and here and here, and so on.

These professors of biological anthropology, animal pathology, and so forth wanted to view zebras through the eyes of lions. So they passed digital images taken in Tanzania through spatial and color filters that mimicked how the zebra would appear to lions, and also to other zebras.

And lo! The brilliant scientists (who collect paychecks for being morons) discovered that the stripes do not help zebras blend into the background! Therefore zebra stripes have nothing whatever to do with evading predators such as lions. Therefore the stripes remain an evolutionary fluke; an unsolvable mystery.

Let’s help out these poor retards.

First of all the eyes of cats, lions, tigers, and so on are suited to seeing in the dark, because they are very sensitive to edges. That is, the cat eye is attuned to lines and silhouettes. This is why cats are sometimes fascinated with a line of string dangled before them. The line confuses their spatial orientation. It looks weird in the eyes of cats.

When a lion hunts a herd of zebras, the lion’s cat-eyes eyes are confused by the stripes. The lines make it difficult for the lion to estimate a target’s range, speed, and heading. And since zebras always congregate in herds, the stripes increase the chances of individual zebras surviving a lion attack.

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The same principle was used during World War One.

Ships at sea are silhouettes, like zebras on the savannah. There is no way to make ships or zebras blend into the background. During WW I, however, ships were painted with zebra stripes to make it difficult for enemy submarines to estimate the ships’ range, speed, and heading when the submarines wanted to use torpedoes. The ships became more visible than ever, but the stripes caused range finders in enemy periscopes to give false indications. The idea was not concealment, but confusion.

So it is with zebras. In fact, Norman Wilkinson, the man who devised the “dazzle” camouflage for Allied ships, got the idea from looking at (wait for it)…zebras. (Duh!) Mr. Wilkinson was a Royal Navy Volunteer Reserve seaman.

His team set to work at the Royal Academy Schools in Burlington House, using model ships, painted in various designs and viewed through a periscope. The best designs were put into practice in 1917. All Allied merchant ships were painted with zebra stripes, plus some of the larger military vessels. Each ship had a unique design so that U-boat captains would not start to see a pattern. The designs were painted all over the ship – even lifeboats and funnels – so that there was no break in the pattern. And when ships moved in convoys, this made them look like a herd of zebras.

The technique was not used much during World War II, because it had become useless. Submarines and torpedo-targeting technology had advanced too much.

Here are some examples…

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Zebra stripes are like Monetary Sovereignty. Everyone thinks the U.S. government is “broke,” and Social Security is “insolvent.” How can the U.S. government continue?

The answer is right in front of them: the U.S. government creates as many dollars as it likes, out of thin air.

If I try to explain this to the “brilliant scientists” I mentioned above, they will dismiss me, just as they dismiss the obvious explanation for zebra stripes.

That’s stupid viruses in action. It’s a global plague.

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2 Responses to Stupid viruses

  1. Chunch says:

    So Venezuela, Cuba, Haiti, etc can’t?

    What makes us special Mrs Smarty pants Harris?


  2. Chunch says:

    Let me guess, you will ignore or delete my comments. You know why? Because you cant provide a logical answer because there isnt any.

    At least you are like rodger yet, his prefered line goes something like “because you are stupid”.

    Steve is one of the most interesting ones though. He’s a true model citizen, unless you make an argument he cant crack. He would quickly ask rodger and im sure he will ask you with due time, to delete anything i post. He just cant deal with the lies, aka, anything he disagrees with and cant argue against.

    The only blogs that generally have open comment sections and delete posts are libertarians – see Mish, slopeofhope. Liberal blogs are worst than Hitler.


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